I am a chair thief. I didn’t mean to embark on a lifetime of thievery; its more where I ended up with my dystonia diagnosis. The allyship of friends and colleagues, their willingness to look out for me, encourages my chair thievery, making a huge difference. I recently met a colleague for coffee. He arrived ahead of me and selected a couch table with cushions against the wall. His allyship and thoughtfulness meant I could hang out in full dystonia comfort.
Allyship shows up in small actions with big impact. There was a moment when I was more junior, hesitant to take a seat at the table and a more senior woman playfully teased me, sitting me next to her. She had my back. It was in the client meeting where the client kept directing questions to my colleague, who kindly smiled and said this is Jen’s expertise and made space for my voice and contributions to be heard. Or a moment that still makes me smile. I was in a three-day face to face partnership negotiation. It was all men and me. I hadn’t yet found my executive presence and I’m guessing the fatigue started to show. The lead client sat next to me and whispered ‘It’s you and me girlfriend. I got you.’ I immediately cracked a huge smile and just relaxed into my role. These acts of allyship have warmed my heart for decades.
I am an ops person, which means I don’t accept the ‘W’ without actions and results. In allyship, it means providing introductions, publicly giving credit to all contributors, using our voices and our platforms to make space for others, seeing the beauty in our diversity and recognizing the strengths that emerge when we all are free to contribute our excellence.
Allyship is in representation. I am a product of Title IX (legislation in the US which required equal spending in kids sports). Sports changed my life, recognizing the joy in competition, strength I possess and built confidence. Running has been my lifeline for over 30 years. This past weekend was another Felsenegg hill repeat day. There was a little beast of a 7-year-old girl testing her mettle on this insane hill. She saw me running down, just loving life out in the woods with my dog. On my next up, I saw her and her mom running down with big smiles on their faces. Representation matters and lasts through generations.
When we think about International Women’s Day, we think of big moments. I want to promote the daily acts of allyship and representation that are available to all. They are the foundation of real change. Sharing information of new jobs, being a reference, making sure everyone was included on the email. Ensuring interviews and offers are equitable. Crediting ideas correctly. Mentoring others.
This is why I have embraced the allyship offered and pay it forward. Now I am the woman sliding over, honoring allies before me, making space at the table for others to share their excellence. I just bring my thieved chair with me.